Dr. Tesseract - plans of mass destruction!

I was just fought over...which was...AWSOME!!!!

Lonely: Makes me crazy.

Amy has been such a good thing to me today. It's pretty nice waking up to her. She got super along with my mom today, which was kind of scary. Then we got back home with Reagan, and she read Reagan a story and then sang to her to put her to bed.. THEN she went all crisis hotline on what is apparently our lesbian, mentally handicapped neighbor with an abusive mother. 0.0
Then she didn't make me feel like shit when I was extra depressed about nothing in particular. Which is a big deal to me. I have some pretty terrible associations with trying to open up emotionally to SO's over the past couple years. Things are looking good. I'm going to fist fight the future.

We have a christmas tree!

I decorated the tree with origami lotus blossoms, cranes, cicadas, and paper snowflakes.

I used my toys as ornaments, too. The tree is infested with a swarm of toy cephalopods, skeletons, rodents, insects, dinosaurs (screeching pterodactyls that light up!), my Ebu named Syphax, and a cthulu monster.

At the heart of my decorating scheme is my refusal to buy ornaments. I did purchase one important item, though- sparkling blue lights!

I would post a picture, but it's the kind of tree only I could love. :D
Also, I'm too lazy to take a picture.

High time for some tomatoe soup, and this shit is yummy in the tummy. I haven't been sick in really long time, so it's weird feeling this crappy. Hopefully I'm not too sick. I hate how when you are actually sick your boss never let's you call in for a few days. It seems like your sickness only lasts for how long they tell you it will last. Lame.

Well, aside from the ranting about myself, I have been fine!(More ranting about myself, it is -my- journal afterall,fuckward) Me and Reno have been on edge and both of us have been really emotional but I like how he plans to stick it through with me. It's weird thinking about how much time I actually spend around him or how much of my life is dedicated to loving and being around one person. Or how much effort it takes to fuel a relation "ship".

Alright, so apparently some bitch is coming back down to florida today.
and I totally don't care at all. (come see me at waffle house pleeease!)

Oh, and a rather annoying panic attack came over me today.

Here's an hour-long, enjoyably digressive podcast I did with Ken Plume.

What has happened?
-Raymond and I decided to split.
-I finished another phase of nuclear training (2/3 complete!)
-Craigslist is providing me with the best winter ever. New house, new love, new beginning.
-Working out a lot of my self esteem issues and focusing on becoming a healthier, happier, more self-aware adult.
-Lost 25 pounds and still working for more. One day at a time.
-Took the steps necessary and had myself put on the safest form of non-hormonal birth control available outside of abstinence.
-Getting out and exploring the Charleston area away from the military. It's actually pretty nice.
-Not being such a bitch. It's coming along, but slowly.

So we've been pretty wholesome since I moved down here. By the way, I moved to Florida. THAT HAPPENED. So I'm here, me and Travis are doing fine, and it's all pretty dope. Boss. Rad. So we kind of had a party last night! It was mostly quiet, minus the techno, managed to see a lot of people. No drahmah, so that's nice. Hopefully I can see more of that. Oh well. Kind of hung over.

In the new place. Looking forward to new things. The old things keep popping up though, haunting me.

I hate it. What can I do?

After the jump, my responses to the ONTD Q&A.

(Cross-posted over there)

( Funny you should ask )

Last episode of the first half of Season Four tonight at midnight. Season Four back eight premieres in the spring. Got it?

Oh, courage wolf. Givin' me the courage to keep on keepin' on.

I've cracked the big time.

*This was originally a slam poem, hope it isn't lost in translation when read*

I said I'd kill myself all weekend.
Then you did.
I shouted out my misery
like a drunk canary.
I used it like an accessory,
you hid it like a scar.
Your Father called me
and I'd asked if you were okay.
No love.
Passed away.

I said I'd kill myself all weekend.
Then you did.
I knew you had discontinued the meds,
and me,
your only friend...
Didn't say a word.
Silent as the grave.
As I broke everything in the house:
Guitars,
Plates,
Cups and,
Bottles:
I was glad to be alive.